Political Correctness Has Gone Mad

It has been revealed this morning that political correctness has officially ‘gone mad’. The ministry for large reptiles has issued a stark warning, urging people to stay indoors lest they get splattered by an abstract concept realised in the flesh as a 60ft. scaly leviathan.

A survey in 2003 found that most people don’t ‘get’ political correctness, frequently mistaking it for health and safety or petty-mindedness. This forced top government scientists to change it into something more tangible, that ‘ordinary folk’ could get their heads around easier. Following Italy’s success in creating a postmodern pterodactyl, these boffins felt that rendering political correctness into some sort of giant lizard would be equally appropriate. In July 2004, they formally announced that they had successfully transformed political correctness into a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

However, in the early hours of the morning, a power failure in its supercage allowed the monster to break out of its vault, buried a mile beneath Trafalgar Square. It has since gone mad, with several deaths and one wounding have already being attributed to political correctness. it is currently thought to be making its way up the M1.

One person who has been warning the public about this issue for years is colossal wanker and Daily Mail columnist Peter Hitchens. “I’ve been warning people against the dangers of political correctness for years” writes Hitchens, from the comfort of his bunker beneath the Reichstag, “but I’m such a colossal wanker that no one has been paying any serious attention.” Hitchens is still optimistic that we will overcome the beast, stating his own personal efforts “Richard Littlejohn and I have rounded up a truck full of muslims and poofters; we’re going to use them as a live sacrifice to the creature. With a bit of luck it will be distracted long enough for someone to fly in and bash it over the head with a giant Bible.”

We’ll keep you up-to-date on Hitchens’s efforts to tame the brute.